I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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