that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize