chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize