I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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