Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize