I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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