He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize