I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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