if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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