i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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