the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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