went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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