Is it because I queefed?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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