You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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