Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize