Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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