can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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