Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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