Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize