Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize