i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize