You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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