i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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