she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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