It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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