1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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