i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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