Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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