Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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