she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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