I wish my penis had an off switch
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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