i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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