Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize