accomplished twins. life is a go
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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