just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize