An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just gift wrapped bread.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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