Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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