Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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