Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize