Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
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I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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