Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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