Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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