Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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