If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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