its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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