I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize