I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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