with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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