i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This baby is an asshole
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize