I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
being pregnant is like rehab
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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